June 17, 2010

Hypocritical Mind

I’m an optimistic person. I try to see the positive in most things and people. I try not to dwell on the bad, and I try to have a positive outlook on life.

That being said, I am an incredibly bitchy person sometimes. I have a million pet peeves. I have a hard time seeing things I don’t agree with and letting them go.

It’s weird.

So, my mind often thinks random thoughts like this:

“Wow, that lady is really fat. I pray to God I never look that fat. Why the hell is she eating McDonald's? Doesn’t she know that will just make her more fat? Gross….Well, you know, I wouldn’t want someone to think that about me. I’m sorry. At least she’s walking. Or maybe that’s all she can afford. That’s mean to call her fat…”

It’s been hot hear in Georgia. Hot and humid. Hot and disgusting. Hot and sweaty. And just HOT.

And the AC doesn’t work in either of our cars. It makes me so mad I want to just give my car away. Yesterday I needed to go to the store, so I figured if Clover and I were going to be drenched in sweat by the time we got there and back home, we might as well walk. So, we walked the 2.7 miles (mainly uphill one way) in the blistering heat. I’m not sure why I thought that would be better than driving with no AC, but I felt good about the exercise.

I'm also very conflicted right now. I hate my car. I want to get rid of it and get a new car with AC. I don’t care if we have to do away with trash service, the bug guy (aka the exterminator) and a few other luxuries – just so long as we have a car with working air conditioner.

Then…I feel like I’m not grateful for what I have. We have two cars that work. The one I want to get rid of is paid off and gets good gas mileage. It’s only a couple more months of summer and then it will be cold again.

But, did I mention that the driver’s side window quit working too?

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