July 10, 2010

Apprehension & Insanity

So I finally took the plunge and networked my blog with facebook. I’ve been tempted to do this a couple of time, but then stopped, because the apprehension of advertising my blog and anyone reading it (some of my inner-most feelings) scared me. I’m not the type of person to jump right out there and express my opinions. I don’t talk politics, religion, race or any sort of “sensitive” subjects with most people. I hate feeling judged and would be horrified if someone judged me based on a quick statement out of my mouth about President Obama or Christianity. However, when I find someone who shares a certain view that I do, I get really excited and will pretty much talk their ear off about it.

My blog is where I share those opinions and it leaves me feeling refreshed, yet exposed and vulnerable. What if I offend someone who reads it? What if someone judges me because I am such a breastfeeding advocate (in my personal life) that they are scared to talk to me because they think breastfeeding is gross?

If that ever happens, I’m sorry.

I’m a very open-minded person. I really try not to judge people that are different than me. Please don’t be offended by my opinions – but this is one of the only places I will share them (unless you agree with me).

I feel like in my last couple of blogs that I make motherhood sound like a fairytale. I only express how amazing it is, and how much I love it. I want to let you know a few secrets. Sometimes, I feel like I am going to have a psychotic breakdown. Sometimes, I get so frustrated with Clover that it scares me. Sometimes, I repeat the part in “I’ll Love You Forever” when it says “Sometimes his mother would say, ‘this kid is driving me crazy!’” in my head and can absolutely relate. Oftentimes, I lose my patience.

But the point is that I love her. She is my world. And I will take the bad over nothing any day.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya!!! I've always been the kind of mom that makes sure to express to others that motherhood isn't always "ideal." I think people need to know this...because I didn't, and I really struggled with depression and wondering what was "wrong" with me. But, it's difficult to find the mix of how much do I tell people it's perfect and how much do I let them know they may very well become insane by the end of the first year! But, everyone needs to know that it's NORMAL to be frustrated!!! And, I always find that the moment I'm about to slip over the edge...my son does something that's far more adorable than anything he's ever done before, and I fall right back in love with him!!! THAT'S true motherhood!