“Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.” Elsa Maxwell
One weekend home, when I was in college, my Mom and I decided to order pizza from Mellow Mushroom for dinner. I went to go pick it up. Before I went inside, I was trying to decide what I needed to bring in, and decided just to bring my wallet. I figured it would be okay to leave my cell phone in the car because I would only be inside for a few minutes (and the chance that I would come back to find 10 missed calls was slim). So, I locked the car and went inside. When I got back to the car with our pizza, and tried to unlock the door, I was confused by why the key wasn’t turning in the lock. Then, I realized the car was unlocked. So I shrugged it off and got in the car. I put the pizza on the passenger seat and went to see how many missed calls I had. I couldn’t find my cell phone. I decided that I must have actually brought it inside with me (even though I knew I left it in the car) and went to see if I left it in the restaurant. Of course it wasn’t in there. On the way back out to the car (and feeling a little bit like I was on a hidden camera show) I started to realize that there were two green Honda’s parked next to each other… I then realized there was a man walking out behind me…As we neared the cars, he went towards the car I thought was mine and I became aware that mine was actually the one next to his! The worst part was my pizza was still inside his car! I slowly and awkwardly said to the man “I’m really sorry, but I thought your car was mine, and my pizza is in your car” Personally, I would have laughed if someone said that to me, but nope, without a word, he opened the door, let me get my pizza out, then got in and drove away.
Another time, my brother and I were driving around and we saw a “SALE” sign on a house. To which I exclaimed (in my best Grandma Alman, are you stupid voice?) “How can a house be ON SALE?” Then I realized what I said. I was imagining a sale like in a store; 50% off.
Last New Years Eve, while Dustin and I were watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, I turned to Dustin with as much attitude as I could muster and said “What is wrong with that guy??” thinking he was really drunk or something. Dustin looked at me like I was stupid and said “he had a stroke.” Wow, I’m a jerk. Honestly though, I really didn’t know it was Dick Clark and I really didn’t know he had a stroke. I just thought it was some drunk guy counting down to the New Year and couldn’t figure out how that was appropriate for tv!
What are your embarrassing, ditsy moments?
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