My Resume

Name: Jill
Occupation: Clover’s Mom
Since: November 2008

Related Experience:

Waiting Tables 2000-2008:
I learned how to deal with different types of people and situations. I also learned to multitask and how to carry the most things in one hand at the same time. I worked long hours, got minimal sleep, and then did it all over again.

Babysitting 1993-2007:
Gave me a good sense of understanding when it came to children. I learned how to change a diaper, how to distract an oncoming temper tantrum, how to let a child “cry it out”. I also learned how to make anything into a game and at the drop of a hat, the standing “Mom Rock” and how to make macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs.

Life guarding 2002-2006:
I learned how to yell “NO RUNNING” and “NO DIVING IN THE SHALLOW END!” I also learned how to watch multiple children at once, while trying to get a tan, and daydreaming all at the same time. I also learned how to perform CPR and how to put a band aid on. I also learned that life guarding is actually a glorified babysitting job, and when I have my own children and don’t know what to do with them on a hot summer day, I take them to the pool and work on my tan while the lifeguard (that I don’t have to pay) watches my children for me.

Qualifications:

1. I can do just about anything one handed. Including (and not limited to) going to the bathroom, getting dressed, making a meal, typing on my laptop, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, putting on makeup, paying bills, balancing the check book, eating, making phone calls, cleaning the house and carrying a diaper bag, toy bag and high chair cover at the same time.
2. I can function on two hours of sleep and have done it more then one night in a row.
I am a germaphobe and will most likely have antibacterial wipes or hand sanitizer with me at all times.
3. I can change a diaper in the dark, with one hand, while still asleep and soothing a baby at the same time.
4. I can rock anyone to sleep.
5. I can make up a song about anything and sing it in different voices.
6. I have a tremendous amount of patience.
7. I know how to cope with one boob a size C and one a size DD. I also learned how to stuff the side that is a size C to make it look somewhat like a D.
8. I can be completely selfless.


The Mom I THOUGHT I Would Be vs. The Mom I am Now:

Thought: My child would always sleep in their crib and in their own room. At all times.
Actuality: For the first six weeks of her life, Clover would only sleep on mine or my husband’s chest. I practice “attachment parenting” during the day where majority of the time I hold her while she naps. Until six months, Clover slept in a bassinet next to our bed. Now, she sleeps in her crib, which is also in our room, right next to our bed.

Thought: I would give my child “normal” food (i.e. hot dogs and macaroni), sugar and fast-food for a quick meal.
Actuality: I am choosing not to let her eat sugar until she is much older, I will not feed her hot dogs and macaroni and cheese will be a rarity. I prefer to feed her fruits and vegetables, whole wheat grains, and when she is older, organic meat if possible. I will not let her have “fast-food” or junk food.

Thought: I would breastfeed and supplement with formula. I did not think about how long I would, but I thought it was weird when people still breastfed their child past a year.
Actuality: Clover is exclusively breastfed, I have no intentions of supplementing with formula, I am a big breastfeeding advocate and I am planning on breastfeeding Clover until she is at least eighteen months old (and longer if she is not showing signs of weaning).

Thought: I would let me child “cry it out”. Duh, it’s how they learn to self-soothe.
Actuality: I do not think “crying it out” is necessary until they are older. I have found research (which I will post later) that indicates when a child cries (at a young age), that they are still learning to trust you. They are learning that when they cry and when they need you, you will be there.