The Great Balancing Act

When I was little my Mom told me she twirled the baton in the circus. She didn’t just come right out and say “hey guys, I twirled the baton in the circus!” It was probably more like a quick response to a series of questions I was firing at her and she answered with “because I was in the circus” - to which I’m sure I didn’t just accept the response and let it go… I’m almost positive I asked another series of questions which led to an exasperated response of, “yes, I twirled the baton in the circus!”

Needless to say, I believed that my Mom twirled the baton in the circus, and literally told everyone I knew, until I was 12. The only reason I stopped when I was 12 was because my Mom happened to be in my presence when I was telling someone about her astounding past and said, “No I didn’t!”

Reflecting back on my Mom’s storytelling days, I may consider telling Clover that I too was in the circus; because let me just express how much of a balancing act motherhood can be.

In case you don’t already know by now, I’m about as hands-on as a Mom as they come. I still rock my 20 month old to sleep at night, she still sleeps with me, my Mom has babysat her a total of 2 times (and has been her only babysitter) and I breastfed her until she was almost 18 months old. Sure, to some parents that might sound like a lot of work. And sometimes it really is. But more importantly, in my opinion, it’s called being a parent. I’m not saying you need to be 100% attached to your child at all times to be a good parent, and I’m not saying that I am so attached to my daughter that I don’t trust anyone else to watch her, or feel like I don't need time apart from her and her from me. What I’m trying to express is how much I truly enjoy being with her, 99% of the time (it’s not always peaches and cream).

I’ve always enjoyed my space, my alone time, being by myself. Yes, I’m an extrovert and I love being around people. But believe it or not, I have always valued my time alone too. I love painting and making things, reading for hours, researching on the computer, reading blogs, organizing things, sewing, knitting and even laying on the couch watching a good movie. All of which, I enjoy doing alone.

I also enjoy being with Clover. I love laughing with her, dancing with her, taking her to story time, play dates, play groups, the pool, the zoo, playgrounds, etc. I feel like each adventure teaches her something new, and that is so important. I love to expose her to new things and surroundings, and best of all, I love watching and experiencing this with her.

The Great Balancing Act is that there are only 24 hours in each day, and at some point, I need to sleep. And occasionally I need to shower. And just once each day, I like to go to bathroom by myself.

So, I spend the days with Clover and the nights by myself. Sure, I can’t paint, read for hours, browse on the computer, watch a movie and sleep at least 6 hours all in one night. I’ve had to learn to make mental and physical lists of everything I want to do, for myself, and pick one each night.

Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like the nights are only so long, and I want more alone time.  However, I also don’t want to give up any of my time with Clover to do something else. I don’t want to miss out on any cute “new” things she does just because I want to read a good book. Most often, I struggle with wanting to do something for myself. I’ll paint at the dining room table while Clover watches Curious George and plays by herself in the living room. I know it’s good for her to play alone, but then I feel guilty after awhile, like I’m ignoring her.

Sure, I could get a babysitter and have a few hours alone. Honestly though, I would hate the feeling of someone else playing with her, laughing at her, experiencing things with her.

I’ve been trying to get in shape and have been walking at night. Sometimes I walk after Clover goes to bed, but I don’t like to walk in the dark, and I’ve increased my mileage, so it’s better if I walk after dinner when Dustin is home. I know it’s great for them to spend time together, and I am happy that they have that time. But each night when I’m out on a walk, I can’t help but think about how much fun they’re having during bath time. How I’m missing her cute little laughs as he struggles to brush her teeth. How cute and snuggly she looks in her pajamas. I want to be there too.

I wish I could hit pause on life so I could do it all. Hit pause right after dinner, go for a long walk, un-pause when I get home and not miss out on any of her nightly routine. Instead, I try to alternate days of short walks with Clover in the stroller, and nights of long walks when Dustin gets her ready for bed.

It’s hard, but she’s only this age once. I know years from now, I’ll be wishing to spend more time with her and less time alone. I know, God willing, that I will have plenty of time in my future to paint or read a good book. I am also positive that I will never be able to re-live this time with Clover.

The Great Balancing Act.

I think I’ll give Barnum & Bailey a call and see if they want to include me in their show.

STRIKE!

Okay, she didn’t get a strike, but Clover DID go bowling for the first time yesterday and had a blast! We went with our bff’s Megan and Layne (and Landon, too!) They put bumpers up on the sides of the alley and then a little ramp in the front so the girls could put the ball on the ramp and push it towards the pins! It was a little close to naptime, so Clover didn’t quite last til the very end, but she still had so much fun. After she woke up from her nap, in a sleepy haze she said “layyneee… balllll”, so I think she may have dreamed about her first bowling adventure.

Here are some great pictures Megan took:

Clover and Layne checking out their bowling shoes:

 

Clover's were a size too big, but so cute!

My little bowler:

Water Break:

and this is how she ended the bowling game...

I'm forever grateful for Megan capturing these precious "1st" moments! She has such a gift of photography and I'm constantly impressed by her work!

Just a little bonus

Remember the bonus questions on tests in high school? You could miss five real test questions, but answer the un-related bonus questions and still get a 100% on the test.

I wish life was like that.

For instance, when you do something totally selfless and for someone else, you should get an extra surprise $100 in your checking account. Or if you pick up the nasty little spider and put him outside instead of flushing him down the toilet, the bonus would be all the other little spiders would leave your house and never return.

Now, the key to the “bonus” is that you never know if and when it’s going to happen. But when you do something really selfless and “bonus worthy”, without expecting something in return, then BAM! a surprise bonus magically appears!

I’ve been working out for the past month and trying to eat better. I’ll just throw it all out there… I’m the biggest I’ve ever been and I honestly need to lose about forty pounds. The hard part isn’t working out. I love the feeling I get after accomplishing a really hard, hot, long 4 mile walk. I just wish there were a few little bonuses. Like last night when Dustin wanted pizza for dinner and I decided (a little reluctantly) to make whole wheat spaghetti, a romaine lettuce salad and grilled vegetables for dinner instead. Yes, it was SO much better for me than pizza, but I think I also deserved a little extra weight loss for my efforts. Not much, just a little bonus weight shed for doing something better for my body.

Allow Me To Introduce You...

To a couple of my family members!  These are more pictures from our trip to Indiana. Can you tell how much fun we had??

First, a little background.  My Grandma (Mom's Mom) is Shirley, or Granny, or Grandma O. My Mom's Dad is Grandpa Jack.  They have 4 daughters - Pam, Cheryl, Judy (my Mom), and Lucy.  Aunt Pam has 2 daughters, Stacy and Joy.  Aunt Cheryl has Kaelan and Ben (and 2 step-son's), and Aunt Lucy has 2 kids, Rachel and Isaac.

My Mom and her sisters - (from left to right) Pam, Lucy, Judy, Cheryl

and my beautiful Granny

My Mom, Aunt Cheryl and Aunt Lucy were all pregnant and had babies in 1983.  Cheryl had Ben on February 6th, then I was born June 6th and then Lucy had Rachel on August 26th. Needless to say, we have taken a gazillion pictures together growing up. I'm pretty sure we could do the pose in our sleep.

and 2 from when we were little:

Next up, my little cousin, Ziva Marie who is Isaac (Lucy's son) and Karyn's adorable little girl!

Rachel and Chad's son is Oliver, who Clover calls "Olllaah".  He's a very smart, sweet, goofy little boy and Clover loved playing with him.

Would you like to know where Clover gets her red hair from?  Everyone, and I mean everyone, kept saying that Clover could be Rachel's daughter.

Here are some handsome boys: Isaac, Kaelan, Jon, and Ben

My cousin Ben is engaged to Natalia, or as my Dad thinks I say every time I say her name "an Italian", which she's not, she's Russian! Here's a picture of Ben and "an Italian":

And last, but not least, (can you tell I like pictures?? and showing them off??) a group shot from the day.

By now you've "met" everyone but the two boys on the left, Matt and Nick (my Aunt Cheryl's step-sons), and the guy behind me holding Oliver. We're not sure who he is and why he's holding Oliver...

Okay, I joke, that's Chad, Rachel's husband. Also, Isaac's wife, Karyn is in between Rachel (the other red head) and "an italian" (Natalia).

Happy Earth Day!

No, I'm not a Earth loving hippie, but yes, I do love the Earth - I mean, don't YOU care about the air quality that you breathe? Or the gross, humid, global warming? In honor of Earth day, here are 40 ways you can GO GREEN!

40 Easy Ways to Go Greener at Home – Besides Recycling

1.  Plant an herb garden.  It’s good to have a reminder around of where our food originates.
2.  Switch all your lightbulbs to CFLs (or at least switch a few).
3.  Create a homemade compost bin for $15.
4.  Switch one appliance to an energy efficient model (look for the “energy star” label).
5.  Stop using disposable bags – order some reusable bags, or make your own.  My favorites are Envirosax and Flip & Tumble.
6.  Buy an inexpensive reusable water bottle, and stop buying plastic disposable bottles.  Then watch The Story of Bottled Water, a short movie about the bottled water phenomena.
7.  Wash laundry in cold water instead of hot.
8.  Turn off lights when you leave the room.
9.  Don’t turn on lights at all for as long as you can — open your curtains and enjoy natural light.
10.  Drive the speed limit, and combine all your errands for the week in one trip.
11.  Better yet, walk or ride a bike to your errands that are two miles or closer.
12.  Support your local economy and shop at your farmer’s market.
13.  Turn off your computer completely at night.
14.  Research whether you can sign up for green power from your utility company.
15.  Pay as many bills as possible online.
16.  Put a stop to unsolicited mail — sign up to opt out of pre-screened credit card offers.  While you’re at it, go ahead and make sure you’re on the “do not call” list, just to make your life more peaceful.
17.  Reuse scrap paper.  Print on two sides, or let your kids color on the back side of used paper.
18.  Conduct a quick energy audit of your home.
19.  Subscribe to good eco-friendly blogs.  My favorites are The Daily Green, TreeHugger, and Keeper of the Home.  Of course, you gotta subscribe to Simple Organic.
20.  Before buying anything new, first check your local Craigslist or Freecycle.
21.  Support local restaurants that use food derived less than 100 miles away, and learn more about the benefits of eating locally.
22.  Fix leaky faucets.
23.  Make your own household cleaners.
24.  Line dry your laundry.
25.  Watch The Story of Stuff with your kids, and talk about the impact your household trash has on our landfills.
26.  Learn with your kids about another country or culture, expanding your knowledge to other sides of the world.
28.  Lower the temperature on your hot water heater.
29.  Unplug unused chargers and appliances.
30.  Repurpose something – turn one of your well-worn t-shirts into basic play pants for your baby.  Or save egg cartons for paint wells, seed starters, treasure boxes, or a myriad of other crafts.
31.  Collect rainwater, and use it to water your houseplants and garden.
32.  Switch to cloth diapers – or at least do a combination with disposables.
33.  Switch to shade-grown coffee with the “Fair Trade” label.
34.  Use a Diva Cup for your monthly cycles.
35.  Use cloth instead of paper to clean your kitchen. Be frugal, and make these rags out of old towels and t-shirts.
36.  Use cloth napkins daily instead of paper.
37.  Read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and open your eyes to the way conventional food is processed. Watch Food, Inc. while you’re at it.
38.  Repurpose glass jars as leftover containers and bulk storage, especially in the kitchen.
39.  Five-minute showers – make it a goal for yourself.
40.  Donate to – and shop at – thrift stores such as Goodwill.  You’ll be recycling perfectly usable items, and you’ll be supporting your local economy.

Sunday morning surprise

I can honestly say I've only truly been surprised maybe five times in my life.  I would make a great detective because I'm really good at picking up on things (probably because of my super sonic radar ears), I ask a ton of questions (I'm curious, so what?) and... I'm pretty nosy.  So I'm hard to surprise. 

This morning we went to breakfast at my Dad's house.  When we got there, Melina ("MiMi") was upstairs and I assumed Dad ("PaPa") and Ava ("Aaaaaa") were downstairs.  Dad came upstairs just as we were headed down and I asked if Ava was still downstairs.  Melina told me I should go down and surprise her.  So, Clover and I headed down.  As I rounded the corner in the basement I noticed Ava sitting on the pull out couch bed and couldn't figure out why the bed was out.  Then I realized someone was in the bed with her... about five more steps and I realized it was JON!! I said "holy crap!!" He had flown in the night before to work with my Dad for the week. Probably the 5th time in my life I've ever truly, 100% been surprised and seriously one of my favorite surprises yet!

babysitters and blankets

This morning was the first time Clover has ever been away from Dustin or me, besides the time my Mom watched her in the waiting room during my doctor’s appointment. “JuJu” as Clover calls my Mom (pucker your lips like you’re going to kiss and say “Joo Joo”, getting high pitched and excited on the “oo” part – that’s how she says it) watched Clover for about four hours this morning while I went to a sewing class and Dustin ran errands. I know it is weird to some people that this is her first time away from one of us, especially since she will be 16 months old! It’s not that I don’t trust anyone to watch her; we’ve just never really had a time that we felt like we needed a babysitter. Plus, majority of the time, we do things together – the 3 of us. If we go out to eat, Clover comes too (she’s great in restaurants, it comes naturally in our family.) If we need to go shopping, she comes too. Our date nights usually consist of watching a Netflix movie on the couch once she’s gone to bed. To be honest, we would feel lonely and like something was missing if we went somewhere without her. She’s our life. I’m not saying parents who have babysitters don’t love their child as much as we do; I’m just saying that we don’t need that time away from her like others might from their child.

It would be really hard for me to have other people baby sit Clover. For starters, I don’t want to inconvenience them. I know that she will cry, and may possibly struggle with the change, and I don’t want someone else to have to take the burden of comforting my child. That’s my job. I’m her comfort. I know what’s best for her. My personality is a very head-strong, natural leader, dominate one. I like things done a certain way, and have a hard time trusting that someone is going to do it the way that I would. So, I tend to want to just do things myself, that way I know they are done “right”. Clover is my daughter. Dustin and I are the only ones who decide how to raise her. I would rather make sure I am doing it, so I know it’s the way I want it to be done. It has nothing to do with trust in others, it’s that I feel like if I want her raised a certain way then I am the best person for the job. My Mom and I may be very different people, but I know that she knows me well enough to “parent” Clover the way that I do. Even if my Mom doesn’t agree with certain things I do as a parent, she knows the parenting decisions I make are heartfelt and are what I truly think is the best for my child; and she will respect that, no matter what.

Before my Mom put Clover down for a nap today, she gave her Jon’s old bear blanket that Granny O made for him when he was little. Jon loved that blanket. (In fact, I think he had two.) My Mom told her that it was Uncle Jonny’s blanket and showed her the bear on it. When I went to pick her up, she went and picked the blanket up and said “Jon! Jon! Jon! Jon!” She knew it was her Uncle Jonny’s blanket. It was so sweet.

We video-chat with Uncle Jonny on Skype about once a week. She loves talking to him. Before we start the video chat I ask her if she wants to go talk to Uncle Jonny, and she goes into the computer room and tries to get in the desk chair. She squeals with delight and excitement up until the point she sees/hears him. Then she gets shy. After awhile though, she warms up and does her best to impress him. They give kisses to each other on the computer screen and she blows lots of kisses signaling “I love you”! Somehow I inadvertently taught her that the sign for “I love you” is a kissing sound or blowing a kiss. I guess because every time I said “I love you” I would blow a kiss after… oops. It’s pretty cute though when I rock her to sleep and say “I love you” and she turns her head up to kiss me. Oh she makes my heart melt. See, why would I need time away from that?

Hang up and drive!

Most of us know the dangers of using our cell phone while driving, yet a lot of us still continue to do it. Myself included. I justify it by saying that I know where the letters on the phone are without looking, or that I only use it at red lights... Well, I'll be honest - I'm lying. I text and drive, talk and drive, even look at facebook and drive. Yes, I'm careful, but not careful enough. It's kind-of like sex, the safest protection is abstinence. I am taking the "hang up and drive challenge" and am encouraging others to do so too!

There was an interesting study that asked, "Is having a cell phone pressed to your ear while behind the wheel the equivalent of driving while intoxicated?" The study found that the answer was YES. Isn't that scary? Another article states "there are 270 million cell phone users in the U.S. and 80 percent of them talk on the phone while driving."

Here is a very graphic, but real, video of what can happen when you text and drive.

Take the challenge with me?

Just a couple...

I have a couple random things I would like to share!

First, BabyLegs is having a HUGE sale + FREE SHIPPING! I love, love, love babylegs! They're great for little knees when your baby is crawling. They're also great for your little ones to just wear around the house. We also use them as an extra layer, when it's cold out, that is easy to take off if they start to get hot! Plus, for girls, they're super cute under skirts, dresses and shorts! Plus, they make great presents!! No, I don't work for the company, I just honestly like them that much!

Here are a couple of pics of Clover sportin' her babylegs:

 

  

and you can't tell, but she's wearing an organic wool pair under her pants in this picture:

 

Second, is a product review. I bought Electrasol Finish Powerball Tabs by accident and do NOT like them. It leaves a white film and white spots on some of the dishes - something that has never happened before.

Here is some proof:

The Electrasol gel pacs work really well, and we will make sure to use those from now on!

Just a billboard.

Remember how my brother went to Vegas? About three weeks ago.

He designed a billboard. A BILLBOARD!

Jon's Web site
Sexy Fly Fashion
Bikinis and Martinis