I have a dream

Every since Clover was a baby I have made a conscious effort not to give her gender specific toys. Meaning, I did not buy her pink toys or toys that were geared towards girls. Instead, she decided to ignore the blocks and play with dolls, jewelry and anything that could go on her arm like a purse. She decided to like what society has deemed “girl toys” all on her own. And I’m okay with that, because she chose it. I did not choose for her that she should prefer baby dolls to blocks and trucks. Her favorite color is pink because she likes pink, not because I told her pink was a girl color and she needed to like pink. I even go to the extreme to tell her, while I’m painting her nails, that some boys paint their nails too. I pray that my children are raised with enough respect and diversity to treat every person the same, regardless of their race, sexual orientation or gender. I feel like the best way that I can do that is to not say things like, “only girls paint their nails” – because that isn’t true. Or, "only girls carry purses" because that isn’t true either. Or, "only boys do yard work and work with tools"…

When I was little, I picked out a black baby doll at the store. I had no idea that the baby was a black baby; I just knew it was the one I wanted. So my Mom bought her for me. I was oblivious to the fact that people had different skin colors, and probably still would be, if not for other kids teaching me that there was a difference.

I firmly believe that if we stop teaching children that there is such a thing as different races, or that certain sexes have to like certain things, or even that because you are a girl you have to love a boy, they will remain unaware. I realize I sound a little Martin Luther King Jr “I have a dream” here, but seriously. For the longest time Clover loved waffles without syrup. Not because she tried syrup and decided she didn’t like it, but because I never gave her syrup and she only knew what waffles tasted like plain. In the same sense, if she was never taught that there were different races, I feel that she might possibly remain happily oblivious to the fact that there are. She wouldn’t have to decide to not be racist; she just wouldn’t know that there was such a thing.

So, if you ever see Miles with painted toenails, or Clover playing with an Asian baby doll… you will know why.

Clover with my 2 favorite baby dolls from when I was little

Monday, bleach day.

There are 2 types of Moms -

1. The type that is cool with germs, doesn't mind when their kids are around other sick kids, doesn't use grocery cart covers, or wipe down the booster seats with anti-bacterial wipes, and doesn't mind large crowds of snotty kids.

Yeah, that's not me.

I'm the other type.  In my diaper bag I have diaper changing wipes, anti-bacterial wipes, several things of  hand-sanitizer (including one without alcohol for Clover) and a blanket specifically designated for diaper changes in germ infested places. I'm that weird-o Mom that if your child sneezes around mine, I notice.  If your child sneezes more than once, we might have an issue.

That being said, today was toy cleaning day.  Clover even helped me wipe down some of her big toys.

I also need to preface the next picture by saying that I have an extreme love/hate relationship with bleach.  I love it because it is the ultimate germ killer.  I hate it because I am a natural klutz - and it always ends up ruining something I own. (I have completely destroyed a duvet cover, a t-shirt and a shower mat... all with bleach)

And here's a cute one of Miles getting stuck on his playmat... because, well, he didn't help clean at all.

My name is Jill, and I'm a coupon addict.

In yesterday's post I mentioned "couponing" and said I would discuss more later.  Well, it's later!

Here is the story of my coupon journey:

I kept seeing things about couponing - how people would save crazy amounts of money on name brand items, shopping at drugstores and expensive grocery stores - we grew up buying store brand items at warehouse prices, so this just seemed ridiculous to me.  Every time I saw someone post a picture on facebook, where they saved tons of money, I would ask them how they did it, but never really got a response.  So one Sunday, I bought the paper. I scoured through the Publix and Kroger ads and tried to match the sales with the coupons.  It took me 3 hours and I saved $30.  I spent 3 hours ignoring my kids and family for $30? Not worth it.

I almost gave up until a facebook friend mentioned that she knew two ladies that taught a coupon class and referred me to their blog.  Two Coupon Cuties

A couple of things on their blog captured my interest:

The Two Coupon Cuties do not eat, breathe, and live coupons 24 hours a day.Who has time to spend all day, every day searching multiple blogs, ordering coupons, clipping coupons, and spending hours in the grocery store? Our goal is to save you money with the use of coupons in the most efficent manner. Not everyone who uses coupons is obsessed'

'Do you want to make your money go further at the grocery store? Do you want to fill your pantry, fridge, & freezer for half the cost? Are you tired of spending hundreds of dollars at the grocery store, & having little to show for it? If so, a Clipinar is just what you need!' 


I thought, "oh hell yeah!" "Yes, Please!"and scheduled a class at my house.

That was June 12th.  Since then, we have literally saved hundreds of dollars and our "stock pile" has gotten so big that we had to buy an extra shelf for the garage!

A few quick things:
1. Our shelves are not stocked with 500 bottles of mustard. That would be dumb.
2. When things go on sale and I have coupons, if it's something we use, I will stock up.  For example, ketchup was $0.33 the other day, so I bought 4.
3. I do the shopping for myself, my husband, my Mom and my two kids.
4. If something is free (for example, BBQ sauce today) I will use all of the coupons I have (5) and buy the items, and then give away the ones we won't use.
5. I go to Publix once a week, and Riteaid or CVS about twice a month.
6. I check the Southern Savers website more than Facebook or my email. She is the coupon QUEEN!
7. I spend about 2 hours TOTAL a week couponing, and that's only because I enjoy it! :)
8. (and most importantly) I'm going to start posting pictures on my blog of my savings specifically to HELP other people save too! PLEASE ask me questions!


Here is today's shopping trip: (I went to CVS, Walgreens, Kroger and Publix - this is EXTREMELY rare, and I only did it because my Mom SO graciously watched my kids for me, plus there were specific items we use at each of those stores with a price worth the trip. For example, Walgreens had my Mom's toothpaste for $0.99 - usually $4. This was actually my first time going to Walgreens)

Retails $165.99 Total out of pocket $67.15 Saved $98.84

Here are some more savings from the past month:

Publix: Retail $209.80, Spent $84.47, Saved $125.33!

RiteAid: Retails $140, Spent $28.50, Saved $111.50!

Publix: retails $69.12, spent $23.20 - saved $45.92!

Princess Olivia

My friend, Lisa, is expecting her second child (and first girl!!) mid-September!  I absolutely love Lisa, so when it came time to plan her baby shower, of course I jumped at the chance asked politely if I could help!  (Especially since Clover says she is going to marry Lisa's son, Michael!)

They are naming their sweet baby Oliva and Lisa loves the Oliva the Pig series, so we decided to use that as the theme for the shower!

Here is the banner I made:

I also made tissue paper flowers for each corner:

I was trying to think of how to hang the letters, and my Mom had a brilliant idea of using mini clothespins that she uses for knitting.  I painted each clothes pin red and then scorched my fingers hot glued clear marbles to the tops.

Since the co-host was making the large diaper cake (pictured below)

I made 3 little ones! (PS the red flower topper on the first one is a hair clip I made for Olivia !)

One of my favorite baby shower 'games' is BINGO.  I think it's a great way to keep everyone involved in the gift opening process.  When each guest arrives, the person taking the gifts (I normally designate someone to do this) tapes a number/letter combination to the bottom of the gift.  Before the guest of honor opens each gift she reads out the number/letter and each guests marks it off of their "bingo card"

At this shower, instead of playing BINGO, I made OLIVIA cards:

I do a lot of internet shopping and could NOT find red and white lollipop favors (for a decent price) anywhere! So I was super excited when I found these at Michaels!  They already come with stickers that say 'thank you' and then there are also blank stickers included.  I wrote Olivia Hope on the blank ones.

I also made the cups that I put the lollipops in.  I cut the top off of two tall plastic cups, hot glued leftover ribbon from the diaper cakes, and put some red marbles in to keep the cups from falling over.

I LOVE to plan parties (I mean, duh, I have a PR degree), but I'm not a fan of the food preparation.  I don't really like cooking in general.  So when the co-host said she would handle the food, I knew right away we would make a good team!  Here are some pictures of the food table (she did a great job!)

Oh, but I did make some white chocolate covered pretzels!

Besides couponing (more later), my new obsession is Thirty-One.  If I could afford to buy an embroidery machine, everything I owned would be embroidered. I use one of the Thirty-One large utility totes as my diaper bag, and love it, and thought Lisa might too (plus, it was a lot of fun to fill the pockets with presents for Oliva and Lisa!)

Here is a picture of my gift to Lisa:

Last, but not least, here is a picture of the stunning Momma-to-be:

Be on the lookout for pictures from our other good friend, Jackie's baby shower (next week!)  I have quite a few special things planned for her, and her sweet baby girl that I can't wait to share!

The poopy head club

So I've been thinking...

I have an almost 3 year old (holy moly!!) and well, she's extreme. Her love is extreme, she's extremely affectionate, her level of loud can be deafening and her tantrums can be pretty exhausting.  Clover is smart. Which means her level of understanding requires 'extreme' manipulation sometimes.

The other day, my friend's daughter said "poopy head" or something along those lines, to which my friend rolled her eyes and said, "the joys of daycare."  Which got me thinking (hence the creative first line of this post) about discipline.  When a child does something wrong, and you react to it, they will most likely do it again just for attention.  So sometimes, I ignore certain things Clover does in hopes that she will not repeat it - and sometimes it works.  However, other times I feel like I have to react.  For instance, Clover said she wanted to 'kill' something the other day, which she has only heard in reference to "killing a bug." I reacted, and maybe it worked, maybe it didn't - it hasn't been long enough to determine that yet.

This is where I think patterns of "bad" behavior begin.  I can just picture my friend's daughter in her daycare setting... Another child in class, probably with an older sibling, calls someone else a "poopy head." They probably get in trouble and have to sit in time-out.  The other children see this and know that "poopy head" is now in the attention-getting category.  They say it when they need attention at school, they come home and say it to get attention from their parents, they teach it to siblings and friends - pretty soon "poopy head" has spread like the flu.  Every child is saying it.  It's like a secret "poopy head" club.

Enter bad behavior stage 1: learning the thrill.  Clover has learned that when I'm nursing Miles, I'm a couch parent.  I use words without action. She uses this to her advantage.  She'll climb up on the coffee table and give me her sly little I-know-I'm-doing-something-wrong-and-you-can't-stop-me grin.  She enjoys it.

As they get older, they need bigger thrills.  Cussing, stealing, bullying, talking back, driving too fast, staying out too late, drugs, alcohol, sex...

I don't believe people that do bad things were born to be bad.  Yes, part of it is has to do with their personality traits.  Some kids need bigger thrills.  But I think a bigger part of it has to do with how they were disciplined.

So, what is the right way?  How do you prevent children from becoming drug addicts?  I have no idea.

I do know that I need to focus on giving my children good attention so they won't crave the bad.  I can tell when Clover needs a little bit of extra attention.  When she starts to act out, I know a big part of it is lack of attention, specifically from me.  I've noticed that when she does something "bad" repeatedly, it is because my reaction is getting louder and more harsh, thus, more attention.

So, in summary: Ignoring your children is bad. It will cause them to act out.  Ignoring their "bad" behavior is bad.  It will cause them to act out.  Reacting to their bad behavior is bad. It will cause them to act out.

Parenting is an amazing and insane ride.

Caden prayer stones

One of Becca's friends, Rachel Hill  made these adorable prayer stones for Caden.  Right now I have them listed in my etsy shop but you can also send me an email if you are interested in purchasing! (JillMDaugherty@gmail.com)

These stones can be shared with people who want to remember to pray for Caden. They serve as a reminder to pray whenever you see it on your desk, feel it in your pocket, etc. In addition, the stones are really wonderful for small children to give them something tangible to pray over.

The stones can either be mailed or picked up.  (For large orders, additional shipping costs may apply)

100% of the proceeds will go to Becca and Adam:

1 prayer stone - $3

A jar of 5 stones - $7

A heart shaped dish with 20 stones - $20

Caden Thomas

Caden Thomas was born on Wednesday, August 3rd 10:01am at 7 lbs 12 oz 20 inches long.  At first everything looked great, but then they found he has a severe Aortic Stenosis, as well as a narrowing in a portion of his aorta, and a mild stenosis as well.  At 7 days old, he has already had extensive open heart surgery and is still fighting. Caden's parents, Becca and Adam, are two of the most incredible people I've ever known.  Their faith is breathtakingly inspiring.  I only hope that I would be half as strong and half as faithful as they are.  Please pray for Caden and for his parents and for his big sister, Jayci. 

To read more, and stay updated, I encourage you to visit their blog: The Stanley Clan

www.thestanleyclan.blogspot.com

There is also a facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/candlesforcaden

A fund has also been set up if you would like to donate: http://www.giveforward.com/cadensheartofspirit

Here is another way to help:

http://thestanleyclan.blogspot.com/2011/08/note-from-blueprint-58.html

Lastly, if you would like a button for your blog like the one above:

<br /> <a href="http://www.thestanleyclan.blogspot.com"><img src="<a href="http://s1123.photobucket.com/albums/l557/JillMalissa/?action=view&current=CadensHeartbutton-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l557/JillMalissa/CadensHeartbutton-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br />

Oh, and did I mention that they serve in inner city Atlanta mentoring to kids, and just signed the contract on their house the day before Caden was born (a process that took OVER a year) in the city to be closer to "their kids".  Not to mention, they had just invited a pregnant 14 year old girl to live with them...

Told you they are incredible.  Not to mention, humble.